Rejected Cartoons

The sad deterioization of Don Hertzfeldt, cartoonist:

The Texas News

Cow Humor
This is NOT a Cock and Bull Story!


Cow Humor, we were moooooved! to learn that a US highway was shut down because of a bull semen spill! What a waste!

(Pictured above, a horny bull)
Texas News
"A spill of frozen bull semen bound for a breeder in the state of Texas triggered a scare that temporarily shut down a US interstate highway during the morning rush hour.

Kevs Twisted Humor

Kevs Twisted Humor
Welcome to Kevs Twisted Humor!

Who the heck is Kev? And why is he twisted?

I don`t know why I am twisted. It may be growing up near Vancouver. That DDT spraying they did on the fields in Delta decades ago? Having a liar, ....oops, I mean lawyer for a brother.

Having a skin doctor (who would experiment on,...oops treat his children),for a father, and a comedian/housewife for a mother.

My other brother is a very funny doctor. I mean that in a good sense.

It could have been that pop I drank. (Soda) for the Americans.

Kevs Twisted Humor - A Little Kev History

Cute Japanese Girl Warning!

Cute Japanese Girl

Cute Japanese Girl Warning!

"Many otherwise perfectly good international relationships have ended instantly, when the Japanese partner opened up and started to eat the squid jerky! If you have never smelt squid jerky, it beats natto hands down, natto is for wimps. Squid jerky can be used by butt cleavage showing car mechanics as a paint solvent at car repair shops, it will singe your nostrils, and coat them with a fishy smell that will last for days."

--Kevin R Burns (the Japan Guy not the MMA guy, this websites guy!)

Read More

Bull semen spill shuts down US highway

A spill of frozen bull semen bound for a breeder in the state of Texas triggered a scare that temporarily shut down a US interstate highway during the morning rush hour.

The incident began when the driver of a Greyhound bus carrying the freight alerted the fire department he had lost a part of his load while negotiating the ramp on a highway near Nashville.

"We didn't know what it was, but we were told (the canisters) were non-toxic," said Maggie Lawrence, a fire department spokeswoman. Bovine Spunk Story Continued

Apparently the driver lost his load. Brings back memories. Yepper, I still remember the day I lost my load on I5. The good news is, a few pretty hefers next to the highway are now with child!!!!!

"Geez Martha, what the hell did ya put in this here coffee, God damn it tastes like Beef Semen!!!!"

"Strange, Bill doesn`t have second cups of Martha`s coffee...."

All Zombies Must Die!!!!!!

Halloween Humor, All Zombies must die! I came by this political argument naturally. I think it is more apt than most of what the Republicans, the Democrats and the Tea Party espouse! I mean, come on! I`m like the next guy, I try to give Zombies the benefit of the doubt, Obama argues for tolerance, and on this he says...

Syria has a father!???

"Syria urged by father to release journalist daughter,"-CBC

The country of Syria has a father? Who is the father? Jordan? And who is the mother? Libya? Does Syria have siblings too? Do they get along? Does father love one of them best? I just can`t stop obsessing about this!!!!!

Do they go on vacations to Europe together? Is there a hotel big enough for all of them? Oh God, stop, stop, stop it mind!!! I gotta work!

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2011/05/04/syria-assad-siege.html

Dick in a Box

Musings by Kevin R. Burns

Mystery of Titanic`s unknown child solved! Turns out it was actually me! And I am really 99 years old, but I look great for my age!



I try to keep my mind open, that was until that day, I got some dust in it.

George Carlin - The American Dream

5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN

5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN. (1) FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP. (2) NOTHING - means SOMETHING & u need to be WORRIED. (3) GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission, DO NOT DO IT. (4) WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying F**K YOU. (5) THAT'S OK - she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.

--from a post at Facebook

Family Law- Child Custody

Comedy - In Living Color - Parody Vanilla Ice - Jim Carrey

Damn!...I think I been mutated!!!

I think I been mutated!!!!

by Kevin R. Burns

20,20,20 - 4 hours ago,... I think I bin mutated!!!

But my wife thinks its a real improvement, from when - we dated!!!

Just get me to the airport on a cargo plane

Hurry hurry hurry before I GLOW in vain!

I can`t control my fingers I can`t control my brain

Oh no no no no!!!!



Read More!!!!

Well worth watching! United Nations

On bed bugs, the treatment of women and more.

United Nations

Been Working Out

Been working out lately, I have found in the past that I didn`t get much results, but since I have
put on this outrageous Austrian accent, my muscles are bulging, babes are talking to me,
and I have this strange desire to govern Kalifornia!